Your first instinct will probably be to wonder how your spouse could do this to you. But trying to guilt your husband to stay with you (or return if he’s already left) will only serve to make you (and him!) more miserable. What you can do instead is take the positive track. Remember all the good things you bring to your marriage and work on showing these qualities to your spouse. “Showing” is always better than “telling” and will make your husband more confident in you.
Take Out the Trash
Your spouse probably has pent-up feelings of anger and hurt, and these resentments may have led to him asking for a divorce. Both of you should make a list of things that made you angry or bitter.
Go through your lists one by one and search for the misunderstandings that led to these feelings. Each of you will need to look for your part in the situation to find the misperceptions. Apologize for your mistakes and don’t comment on what the other did to cause a problem.
Take a Break
Sometimes, just getting away from your partner for a weekend or even a week or 10 days will help you to gather your thoughts and emotions. If your relationship has been characterized by stress for quite some time, this can help you both to re-evaluate where you’re at in the relationship and the things you’d be willing to change.
Compromise
The biggest part of making a marriage work is compromise. Both you and your partner should be prepared to make some accommodations for the other. If you’re both willing to compromise, you should be able to find some middle ground that will please you both. A marriage counselor can help to guide you during this process. If both partners in a marriage are not happy, it will be difficult to make the relationship work.
Your marriage used to make you so happy… When did it get so bad? You two can’t seem to agree on anything, you feel a sinking feeling in your stomach whenever you’re together. Perhaps you’ve even started sleeping separately and you’re wondering is saving your marriage is even going to be possible. Rest assured, most marriages can be salvaged but the key is going to be understanding what exactly is going wrong. Understanding what the problem is will be the only way you’ll be able to figure out the proper solutions to turn this thing around!
Sometimes it’s not as easy as one might think to pinpoint the issue. Saving marriage isn’t only reserved for couples that are faced with big shocks like infidelity or serious lies. Things can slowly deteriorate over time and leave two people on the brink of divorce…
The most straightforward and effective thing to do when trying to save a marriage (or keeping one healthy!) is communicating. It is crucial right now to have some serious (and calm!) conversations with your partner to explore what you both want to change, what you both need, and also to make sure that you two are on the same page and still share the same goals. Are you both willing to give resolution a chance? Are there any underlying issues or unresolved traumas?
To give you a better idea of what can hurt a relationship more than one might think, here are some of the most common things that creep in and damage relationships.